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The struggle – and bright side – of online dating for people of color

I tried everything to change the way I presented myself — smiling and smouldering looks, casual and dramatic poses, flamboyant and conservative clothes, playful and intense introductions — but was always dismissed in the same fashion: After spending nearly all my life reinventing my personality in order to impress others and adapting my values to fit in, it turned out the one thing I couldn't change was the only thing that mattered: The most effective way I found to keep people from skipping right over me was to fully embrace the stereotypes they already believed.

In , OKCupid released a study confirming that a racial bias was present in our dating preferences.


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It found non-black men applied a penalty to black women ; and all women preferred men of their own race but they otherwise penalised both Asian and black men. The sample drew on the behaviour of 25 million accounts between and , when there was a decrease in the number of people who said they preferred to date someone of their own race.


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  • Macquarie University senior lecturer Dr Ian Stephen said that some of the biggest predictors of who we end up with is what our parents look like and the people we encounter in the neighbourhoods in which we grow up. He said the online landscape as described by OKCupid — primarily consisting of white people who typically prefer their own race — additionally disadvantages people who are already discriminated against. He agreed this could have a compounding, negative effect, especially in apps like Tinder — where 'popular' accounts are promoted and 'disliked' accounts are dropped to the bottom of the pile.

    Emma Tessler, founder of New York-based matchmaking website, The Dating Ring , which sets people up on dates, said the OKCupid data is consistent with their her service's experience.

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    She said this is not limited to online dating but is reflective of society's biases. Dating websites and apps like Tinder have created such a vast pool of potential partners — millions of matches — that people have to start to generalise and draw the line somewhere, she said.


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