How to know if the guy youre dating is married

Don't call his wife. Now you might have been advised otherwise, but in reality it serves no purpose. Wives will claim that they appreciated being told, but more often than not you will be blamed for the affair while she reconciles with her husband.


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Most women will want to work on their marriage and move past the affair. There are countless websites, books and seminars on exactly that; forgiving infidelity and building a stronger marriage. I know someone who had an affair with a married man. He promised to leave his wife, but was of course lying through his teeth. Finally she got so outraged when it became clear that he has no intention of leaving his wife that she picked up the phone and told her.

The wife listened to her story, simply said "thanks" and then hung up. My friend got an update almost a year later. They were still together and working on their marriage. They managed to rekindle their passion for each other and the sex was better than ever. The wife once again thanked my friend who felt worse than she did when she found out that he was married.

Additionally, I believe that most women know if their man is being unfaithful. We have great intuition and a gut feeling about these things. It's only a matter of accepting what's right in front of us and no longer being in denial. Bottom line; if you find yourself involved with a married man end the relationship immediately. If he comes back to you he's yours, if he doesn't, he was never yours to begin with.

Meet Singles in your Area! Resources Signs That He's Married. View Singles Near You. Emotional Stages of a Breakup or Divorce. Types of Dating Abuse. Etiquette for Dating a Divorcee. If you always go back to your place and have no idea where the other person lives, then you might should worry. If he consistently refuses to let you see where he lives, he may be married. Decide if the person's phone habits are abnormal. People who are cheating act very secretive when it comes to phone calls.

Decide if the person's phone habits make sense or if there might be cause for concern.

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Does he receive a lot of phone calls while you are together that he never answers? Does he act nervous or purposefully keep the screen away from you? Do the calls just keep coming? Secretive, evasive behavior like this can indicate that he is married.

Some people don't want to answer the phone while on a date. The longer you are together, the more comfortable you should become around one another. Eventually, he should answer a call, especially if he gets them constantly.

Does he have two cell phones? Sometimes, this is true for business people. However, people who cheat also can have multiple cell phones. Does he refuse to give you the number? Does he take calls from numbers you never see while out of earshot?

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Signs You Are Dating a Married Man | Healthfully

These could be red flags. Does he only call you when he's at the grocery store, in the car, at work, or at the park? Have you ever gotten him when he's at home? If he's calling you when he's away from home, this could point to him sneaking out to call you. If you call him randomly and he does answer, does he speak normally, does he sound like he's on a business call, or does he speak much more quietly than normal?

Inconsistent phone behavior could point to cheating.

Many people only have cell phones now, but if he refuses to give you a home number and exhibits other signs, it may be a flag. See if you've never met anyone important in the person's life.


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  • If you've been dating for a few months and have never met any of the person's friends or family, then it may be a red flag. Does he talk about his friends and family? Do you know who he spends his time away from you with?


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    • Sometimes, people can be hesitant to introduce new love interests to their friends and family. However, if the relationship is getting serious, you've introduced him to your friends, and you still haven't met anyone, he's either not serious or married. Check for unusual patterns to making plans. You never go out on the weekends. He turns down every spontaneous date you suggest. There is never a romantic weekend getaway, or when there is, it's also a business trip.

      9 Signs You’re Dating a Married Man

      If you're not sure, be bold and ask. This can be the simplest and most effective way to learn what you need to know quickly.

      No Invitations to His House

      There are different possible ways to go about this: Come right out and ask: Ask, "Is there anything you're not telling me? Is the person exhibiting the signs of lying? Are they averting their eyes, shifting uncomfortably, sweating, or becoming overly defensive? Are you struggling with trust issues, or is the person just really acting sketchy?

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      If you still feel like something is off, then you may need to end the relationship ASAP. If the person does say he or she is married, then don't waste any more time with him or her. You can get angry and ask a few questions, but get out as soon as you can -- it's just not worth it. Visit the courthouse for a marriage certificate. Go to the courthouse of the city where the marriage was likely to occur.

      How to Behave if You Find Out That the Man You're Dating is Married

      Public records can be useful for finding out whether someone is married now, or what their marriage history has been in the past. Marriage records are public; you can usually see a copy for free or for a small fee. You can usually even tell if the person has applied for a marriage license in the past. You'll need the person's real name to search the public records. If their name is in common usage, such as Mary Smith, you'll also need a middle name. In numerous jurisdictions, you'll also need to know which state or province a person was married in and only search there.

      Be aware that not all marriage applications or licenses are made public. Some jurisdictions have provisions for keeping this information private. Every state and city differs on what information is available to the public and how it can be obtained, so know the rules of your state and city first. While you're there, check the divorce records, too. Just because you find a marriage record, it doesn't mean the marriage is still in existence. There are websites that collate nationwide public records to allow you to search for marriages. These tend to be considerably more expensive than searching locally available public records, but they might prove convenient.

      Weigh the cost with the convenience before making your decision. Snoop through the person's things. If you're snooping, then you're doing so at the cost of your relationship. But if you really think this is the best way to find out the truth, then go for it. Here are a few ways to snoop through the person's things to get the answers you need: Look through the person's wallet. Does he have a joint credit card with someone?

      Or less obviously, does he share a joint card to PetCo, the local Co-op, or another local business with another person?