Christian views on dating and marriage
Dating and courting are basically the same thing—just different terms. Before we get into this though, we've gotta throw out the reminder that if your parents have told you that they do not want you to date yet, then you must respect their rules. The Bible does not actually mention the terms "dating" and "courtship", but we can definitely find some principles about relationships that will help us understand what's up with this touchy subject.
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First things first, let's separate how the world views dating from how God wants us to handle the period of time before a couple gets married. According to 2 Peter 2: The world is constantly sending a message of "try before you buy" when it comes to dating. The world says that dating as much as you want is totally fine. The world says that sleeping around is necessary to see if you're physically compatible. Sadly, this is a very self-centered way of entering into a relationship.
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This view is all about pleasing ourselves—not loving and serving another person. That kind of attitude and motivation will ultimately lead to a relationship ending in disaster. Even very well-meaning, God-loving Christian couples can fall into the trap of selfishness when it comes to relationships. God's view of romance is quite different from the world's view. He wants us to first discover a person's innermost character, who they really are when no one is looking, before we decide to make a commitment of the heart.
Does the person strengthen your relationship with Christ, or does he or she compromise your morals and standards? Has the person accepted Christ as his or her Savior John 3: Is the person committed to becoming more like Jesus Philippians 2: Does the person show love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control, which are the fruits of the spirit Galatians 5: In dating or courting relationships, be aware of avoiding sexual temptation.
It is not only a sin against God, but it is a sin against our own bodies 1 Corinthians 6: Respect yourself and the one you love by honoring them the way God intends us to honor others Romans They should make a covenant together before God involving strict guidelines for not having physical contact or being alone where they can fall into sexual sin, and walking in the light and having open communication with one another. This process should involve marital counseling conducted by older, successful married couples with spiritual depth and experience in raising strong families.
At some point, the man should formerly ask the woman's father, parent, or relevant guardian for permission to marry the woman before he officially proposes to her.
Both families should get to know each other since marriage also unites two families, not just two people. Money should be set aside during the engagement, and jobs and education should be already secured. This is so the focus of the first few years of marriage is on building the relationship rather than on the distractions that come from financial stress, education, and other things that can destroy a relationship. Monies should be channeled for life together more than on the one-time wedding ceremony.
If you don't have the money, be simple and modest with excellence on your wedding day. Don't overdo it and go into huge debt! Invest in your marriage, not in your wedding day! Practical and Biblical Understanding of Courtship Courtship and dating are some of the least discussed topics in the church.
During the courtship Bible studies should be done together on the role of husbands and wives, and the purpose of children Genesis 1: The book of Proverbs should be studied frequently together for practical wisdom and prudence in relationships and business. Couples should especially study biblical love as found in 1 Corinthians 13 and understand that it is the commitment that arises out of covenant that will sustain their marriage—not merely the feeling of love. For example, someone may wake up without those strong feeling of romance and be deceived into thinking they are no longer "in love" with their mate.
This gives an excuse to begin another search for their true "soul mate" to experience romance again! Mentor couples should be secured both during the courtship stage and after the marriage takes place.
Mentor couples are experienced married couples who take younger couples under their wings, coaching them through personal issues that will eventually come up. The courtship should last as long as necessary to work out all the kinks in the relationship. No date for the wedding should be set until numerous marital empowerment sessions and counseling sessions are conducted we do eight sessions in our church called Marriage Builders , and a test from Marriage Savers is taken marriagesavers.
This will further insure the will of God is known and there is compatibility between the two people.
Regarding the Marriage Savers test, 25 percent of engaged couples that take the test break up. They realize they don't have enough compatibility to make a marriage work. No doubt, some reading this will scoff at my old-fashioned approach.source link
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